


667: Neighbour of the Beast

by Reiven



Category: Gokusen 3, Rookies - Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Friendship, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 17:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiven/pseuds/Reiven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ren gets bored, people go out of their way to entertain him. It's always been that way and it'll always stay that way. Poor Yamato's only just realized that on those days, people tend to avoid Ren for a reason. But that still doesn't explain why on a sunny and otherwise normal Tuesday morning, he finds himself staring up at a cement sign that says: Futagotamagawa Gakuen, in the presence of a girl who was referred to as Goldilocks, but is now identified as Yagi Touko.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It isn't the things you do; it's how you handle taking the credit after you've done it.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining; the breeze blowing gently rustled the leaves of the large trees that lined the streets. Flowers were in bloom that day, painting an almost ethereal portrait of colours across the sidewalk stones. Cat meows and dog barks filled the air like music before a big white cat came leaping out a bush and disappeared in a flurry of hisses and spits into the underbrush across the street. Not two seconds later and brown dog appeared out of the same greenery, sniffing the air around it and followed the white tabby into the scrubs it had scampered into.

Given the weather, Yamato would be inclined to feel happier if he wasn't, at that moment, trailing after his ex-enemy, currently-best friend, like a newly hatched duckling. As it were Yamato would have gladly followed the white cat into the safe sanctuary of the bush, especially now that Ren wasn't looking.

As if he could hear what Yamato was thinking, Ren turned from the scenery he was admiring at that exact moment to grin at his friend.

"Thanks for accompanying me, Yamato."

Yamato's eye twitched. "Yeah…no problem," he said. _I wish I was in Yankumi's class right now_ , he added mentally. "But all the same, where are we? And better yet, what are we doing here?"

"Oh, come on. Where's your sense of adventure, Yamato? Haven't you ever wanted to do something just for the hell of it? Tried something just because you felt like it? Live a little! We're only alive once."

Yamato wanted to say; _My dog ate it_ , but instead he huffed and gave a resigned shrug. "Whatever man. But if Yankumi catches us, you're taking the blame."

"Is that what you're afraid of? And everyone calls me the Yankumi sympathizer," Ren laughed and clapped Yamato on the shoulder. "Don't worry; Kura and Icchi's got it covered."

 _Isn't that all the more reason to be worried_?  "But why here? We could have just gone to the Pachiko Parlour…or the mall?" _Or stayed at home and slept? Did I turn off the Snooze button on the clock this morning?_

"Tch. The arcade, the Pachiko Parlour, the ramen shop, karaoke… That's what we always do. Don't you want to try new things, go to new places? Pick up new hobbies? I heard baseball's all the rage this season?"

"Baseball? You and what team?" Yamato nearly laughed, trying to image Kura and Icchi, or Honjo and Kamiya for that matter, attempting to play.

"Hah. Me? Baseball? Don't be stupid. Just because it's everyone's favourite sport doesn't mean that I want to play it. Are you retarded?"

"Funny that you call me retarded when you're the on who brought it up. And for the record, I'm smarter than you."

"Right. So tell me, Mr. Genius. If you're so smart, then how come Kura and Icchi managed to trick you into entertaining me today?" At Yamato's bemused look, he added. "I know about their secret evil plans. You think I don't hear them moan and groan behind my back when I complain that I'm bored? We've been friends a long time. Besides, why else do you think I act so insufferable about it?"

There was a moment's pause before Yamato said; "You're an asshole," and walked on ahead, not even noticing that they had stopped.

Ren grinned. "Takes one to know one," he said and jogged to catch up.

It was a small street they were on. The shop houses on the side selling everything from fruits and flowers to magazines and snacks. They passed the occasional vending machines stacked with cigarettes and drinks.

It seemed to be a peaceful neighbourhood.

People smiled at them when they passed and bid them a good morning. A young boy bowed in apology to Ren when he knocked into him while coming out of his house at top speed, and was still muttering an apology when he disappeared around the bend.

It was a scenario so unfamiliar back home, where they were well known delinquents. There shopkeepers eyes them suspiciously when they passed. Some even stood protectively in front of their bananas and hissed snappishly when someone from class 3-D strayed too close. People were merciless and cruel and all of them had no choice but to be merciless and cruel right back.

But walking here, in the unfamiliar place among these unfamiliar people, Yamato felt safe…happy. It was like they weren't loathed school rejects for once; just two ordinary students walking to school, stopping occasionally to get a snack and trying to recall if they have any assignments due that day.

By the look on Ren's face, Yamato could tell that he was on the same train of thought.

But he still did not know what they hell they were doing there.  


* * *

It had been ten minutes of silence, sighs and the occasional double-take when a pretty girl passed (on Ren's part at least—Yamato wonders what kind of girl Ren would find attractive, especially living with such an attractive sister).

"Hah?"

It took Yamato a good five seconds to realize that Ren's incredulous look was aimed at him and that he's voiced his wonders out loud.

"Are you ill?" Ren asked, lifting his hand to Yamato's forehead as if to check his temperature.

"Am not," said Yamato, slapping the hand away indignantly.

"You're not in love with my sister are you, Yamato? Because that would just be…disturbing and completely weird."

"No, I'm not," said Yamato slowly, as if he were talking to a petulant two-year old who was insisting that he'd taken the last cookie in the jar. Not that the description was too far off.

"Good. Keep it that way," said Ren seriously, not trace of humour anywhere in his voice.

"Don't worry. It's staying that way." _She isn't my type anyway…too tall_. Yamato realizes that his height had never been an issue until he started hanging out with Ren and occasionally meeting his sister. Both of them are abnormally tall. Ren's shoes don't help anything either, neither does his sister's heels.

Speaking of heels, that hard thing that came flying out the alley and hit his bag with a thump looked like a woman's heeled shoe. But since when did shoes come flying out of deserted alleys by themselves?

"Did you hear that?" Ren said, stopping Yamato in his tracks with a hand to a chest, and from mentally berating his own idiotic thoughts. "It sounded like a girls' voice."

 _It was a girls' shoe_. Yamato wanted to say, but one look to the side showed an empty spot where Ren had stood not a second ago. So he grabbed the shoe, for a reason he was sure would come to him later, and disappeared into the alley following his unpredictable friend.

The further he walked into the alley, the louder he heard the voice Ren had mentioned before. It was a girls' voice and from the sound of it, she was distressed. And from the sound of the accompanying voices, it was obvious that she wasn't alone. Her status of not being alone in a dark alley, shouting for help and evidently missing a shoe, accompanied by a chorus of laughing male voices indicated that she was being harassed by a group of immoral villains looking for cheap thrills and enjoyment at the expense of another person.

Yamato decided that he would become a Private Eye one day. Like Magnum P. I. or a Detective like Holmes.

But there was still the mystery of how the shoe had gotten from all the way from over here, to all the way over there where he and Ren were standing. About a hundred feet out.

" _Yamato!_ " whispered Ren viciously for him.

He found the streaked hair, source of his frustration that day about a meter in front of him, glancing to something around the bend and out of his line of sight. Just ahead he saw a discarded school bag, a few cans of upturned garbage, and on closer inspection, a couple drops of blood on the white pavement.

He threw aside his own bag (and the shoe) upon reaching Ren and looked to see what the other boy was looking at.

Up ahead, backed against a metal fence was a girl, she looked about their age. The buttons of her vest had been torn off and the white shirt underneath smudged with dirt. Cornering her were three big guys. One was too blonde, one was too bald and another had a large, bleeding wound on his forehead in the shape of a heel, but otherwise he was just right. In fact, they looked like they could play the part of the three bears in a live stage show about Goldilocks. The girl could be Goldilocks, despite not having gold coloured locks. But never in any storybook Yamato's mother had read to him when he was small, did Goldilocks knee any of the three bears in the gonads.

Ren and Yamato physically cringed.

Goldilocks had pushed her was past two of the bears still standing and was about to make a get away, before one of them grasped her on the upper arm and threw her roughly into a mountain of black plastic bags on the side.

The unfortunate bear; the one with the heel-head-wound and the newly acquired soprano voice, staggered to his feet, eyes flashing with anger and disgust as he limped over to where the two other bears had Goldilocks pinned to the ground.

At that moment it occurred to Ren and Yamato that maybe, had they intended to do anything, this was the time for them to do it.

Ren took off first with Yamato trailing close behind. Yamato was adamant that the only reason Ren always took off first was because he had longer legs and was, thus, faster. When Yamato was adamant, there was no changing his mind…except when it came to Ren, because the boy could be persuasive if he wanted to, and if he that didn't help, he'd just irritate the other person into complying.

"Hey, you!" yelled Ren before plating his fist into Bleached Blonde Bear's nose. He collapsed backwards with a groan and was immediately knocked out when his head collided with the edge of a fallen garbage can.

Yamato thought it was rightly appropriate, like it was the garbage can's way of taking revenge.

Bald Bear went next. Yamato buried a fist in his stomach and one under his chin, sending him flying back into a pile of festering garbage.

That, too, was appropriate.

Soprano Bear was last. His expression of unconcealed shock and panic was obvious on his face as he looked at his fallen bears, then at the two lean boys standing before him like conquering heroes.

"You…bastards!" he growled, his meaty hands in fists as he lunged at Ren, identifying him as the biggest threat despite his pretty-boy looks.

Ren almost laughed because it seemed like such a one-sided fight. Soprano Bear had a good sixty pounds on him, but it was almost like taking candy from a baby. Or as it were, taking Goldilocks from the Three Bears.

He was down before he even knew what hit him.

It was Ren's fist, then his elbow being unceremoniously introduced to the back of his head.

And that was the end of the Three Bear.

"Yeah!" whooped Ren, pumping his fist in the air. "Did I tell you, Yamato? Adventure, excitement, exercise. Would you have gotten that if you'd stayed back at school?"

 _No. Quiet, peace of mind and breakfast. Either one would be welcomed right now_. "Whatever."

A sniffle caught they attention and both turned to the girl, slumped dejectedly on the ground with her arms around her knees.

"Hey…" said Ren, kneeling down beside her but careful to leave a foot length between them. Years of sexual harassment accusations had educated him. "Are you okay?" he asked, looking to Yamato and back at the girl.

Yamato walked over and crouched down beside Ren, but he didn't say anything. Years of tolerating visits from his older girl cousins with new make-up sets and hair pins had put the fear of God in him.

Or women, at the very least.

Goldilocks took a moment to compose herself. The sniffling ceased and she slowly lifted her head, looking back at Ren and Yamato through bloodshot eyes.

"Are you all right?" Ren asked again, his face sympathetic. "Don't worry about them," he motioned to the Three Bears. "We took care of them."

Goldilocks just nodded, not yet finding her voice. Her hands unfurling from around her knees as she straightened up.

Ren and Yamato noticed the lack of buttons on her white button-up shirt before she did and considerately looked away. Ren took off his jacket and handed it to the mortified girl without a word and keeping his eyes averted.

Yamato thought it almost an impossible feat, but he decided that even Ren knew when it was an appropriate time to look and when it wasn't.

Goldilocks pulled the dark jacket over her arms, the hems hanging almost to the middle of her thighs and kept the front folded across her chest.

"Thank you," she croaked, sniffling and wiping her tears on the back on her hands.

Yamato unconsciously handed her a handkerchief. He'd forgotten that he brought one to school everyday and that absolutely no one knew that he did. If there was ever someone Yamato adamantly wanted not to know something, it was Ren; because he would tease him mercilessly then Kura and Icchi would join in. Now, being affected by Ren's sardonic humour, Yamato was sure that Honjo and Kamiya would join it too.

But Ren didn't say anything, and Yamato didn't deign to remind him.

"Are you okay? They didn't hurt you, did they?" asked Ren again.

Yamato was almost touched by the sympathy in his voice. But then Ren looked at him, at the handkerchief (which was not only blue but also embroidered in the corners), back at him and flashed a mischievous grin, Yamato felt nothing but irritation and a fine dose of anxiety at what was to come.

"No. Just some scratches. Thank you again. I…I…" Goldilocks sniffed, covering her face with her hand, the other keeping the jacket covering her torn shirt in place.

"Do you need to go to the hospital or somewhere? Home? We'll accompany you if you want."

"N-No. I should go to school. It's nothing. I just…I just…" she trailed off. Ren and Yamato thought they heard the name ' _Kei-chan_ ' being muttered.

"Come on. We'll walk you to school."

"You don't have to," said Goldilocks. "We've already done so much."

"Nonsense," said Ren spiritedly. "We're just your regular, hometown helpers. Always ready to lend a helping hand!"

Yamato half-expected a loud guffaw at the end of the sentence; Ren's arms on his hips and his chest puffed, laughing to the sky.

"Where is your school?" asked Yamato for the first time in that alley.

"It's not far, just a few blocks up," explained Goldilocks. She was straightening out her skirt and brushing off the dirt and sand from her legs and knees before running her fingers through her disheveled hair. Her eyes were red and puffy, but dry thanks to Yamato's handkerchief.

"We are here for some fresh air. A little walk would do us good. Eh, Yamato?"

"For the record, I still don't know where we are and what we're doing here."

"Adventure, man! Thrills! What, would you rather be sitting in a boring classroom hearing Yankumi break out into another of her 'my precious student' speeches between the explanations of Pi and algebra?"

"No—"

"Do you prefer watching the guys fight over another Gokon Kamiya's arranged to walking free under the sun, breathing in the fresh air and looking at the girl not bound by Gokon obligation? And where there're girls, there're skirts and where there's a breeze, there're always panties being flashed!"

Yamato almost smacked his own forehead with his open palm. Goldilocks either didn't hear Ren hearty speech or chose not to listen. Instead, she walked over to where her bag and school things were scattered on the ground and began gathering them and putting them back into the bag.

Yamato suddenly remembered the projectile shoe and went to get it along with his and Ren's bags.

"Here," he said, walking back over and holding out the shoe to Goldilocks…or would it be Cinderella now? One thing was for sure, Yamato was not going to slide the black shoe onto the girls' foot. Ren could be the Prince Charming if he so wanted.

"Thanks," she said, sparing him a small smile.

"Aaa. No problem."

"Ready?" asked Ren, rolling up the sleeves of his red shirt as he strolled over.

Golderella gathered up her last book, put on her shoes, tightened the black jacket across her chest, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and nodded.

"Alright. Let's go!"

Golderella gave a small chuckle and Yamato rolled his eyes.

_Why me?_

"I'm Yagi Touko, by the way," Golderella said as she walked towards the alley exit, the two boys flanking her.

"Kazama Ren, and Mr. Happy over there is Ogata Yamato, but we all just call him Smiley."

"Shut up, idiot."

Yagi Touko let out a real laugh then, the first time in all the while they'd known her. It was appropriate though, to commemorate the first time she wasn't referred to as Goldilocks or Cinderella or Golderella or 'she'.

"You two remind me a lot of the guys at my school," she said, turning to look at Ren. "Where do you go to school? I don't think I've ever seen you around here."

"We go to Akadou. It's…not around here."

"Why aren't you in school?"

"We're skipping. Got bored. Trying to find different means of recreation. Karaoke and games can become so tedious if done everyday."

"I'm just here because I lost Rock, Paper and Scissors."

"Shut up, Smiley. No one asked you."

"I go to Futagotamagawa Gakuen. We just call it Nikogaku."

"Very cute," said Ren. "We just call out school Akadou. Why do you need a complicated name for a school anyway? As if a longer name makes it more interesting."

Yagi Touko laughed again. Her swollen eyes were returning to normal and the redness was fading. Besides her new school uniform accessory, Yamato estimated that she'd be as good as new in about ten minutes. Enough time to get her to the school without any evidence of wrongdoings (again, despite the new uniform jacket) and get the hell out before a misunderstanding leads them to get the shit beaten out of them.

She did say that he and Ren reminded her a lot of the guys at her school. And judging by the ball-crunching knee-smash earlier, she must have seen a lot of fighting.

Get in. Get out. That was the plan.

"What do you guys do in school?"

"Besides sleeping? Not much."

"I mean activities? Are you in any clubs?"

Ren scoffed. "Do we look like rule-abiding club members? We fight mostly. Sometimes we vandalize school property when we're in the mood. We've flooded a bathroom or two in our time too. Besides, Sawatari would probably throw us off the building roof and himself along with us if we ever considered joining a club."

"Really? That's too bad."

"Uh…what about you?"

Get in. Get out. That was the plan.

Ren being nice, sociable and friendly to the girl?

Not the plan.

"I'm in the baseball club. Well, I'm the manager really. You should come and meet out teacher and coach. You're going to love him! He's funny, nice, supporting and a bit strange."

Girl asking them to stay longer than necessary?

Not the plan.

"His last name isn't Yamaguchi is it?"

"Huh? Err, no. It's Kawato. Kawato Koichi. Why?"

"No reason."

Yamato thought he saw Ren exhale a bit too sharply.

"So…what happened back there?" said Ren again. Yamato would have marveled at his subtle topic-changing skills, if he had any.

"They were asking her out on a date," said Yamato.

"Shut up, Smiley. No one asked you."

"You know…just guys showing off and wanting something they can't have."

Ren and Yamato both nodded. For some reason, the image of Sawatari immediately came to mind.

"Lucky that you guys came when you did. Otherwise…I'm grateful."

"It was nothing," said Ren, basking in the glory. Yamato could see it.

"It's just up ahead, over there," Yagi Touko said, pointing to the large school building in the horizon. The marble sign on the gate entrance embedded with the words 'Futagotamagawa Gakuen'.

Ren and Yamato both shared a look and glanced to the girl jogging up to the entrance. Both followed at a more cautious pace.

"Should we just walk straight on ahead?" asked Ren.

"What about your jacket?"

He thought for a moment. "Yeah…it is my favourite one. You have no idea how hard it was sewing the purple material inside."

"Right. Looks nice though," said Yamato without even thinking of his words, leaving a space wide open for Ren.

Surprisingly, he didn't take advantage. Instead the mocking stayed within the usual territory. "I like your handkerchief too. It brings out the colour of your eyes."

"Shut up, asshole."

"Did your mom embroider it, or is it a personal hobby we don't know about?"

"I hate you."

"Hey, guys!"

Both looked up at the voice. Finding Yagi Touko standing in front of the gate waiving them over.

"Too late to turn tails and run now, Smiley."

"I'll smother you in your sleep, you asshole."

Ren didn't satisfy Yamato with an answer. Instead he flashed him one of his insufferable grins and jogged up to meet Yagi Touko where she stood waiting.

"They're practising now. You should come and watch. It'll be fun. Maybe you can even join your own club back at school."

"Sure. My heart flutters in anticipation."

Yagi Touko just gave him a knowing smile; her eyes dry and already returned to normal. "That what they all said."

"Who?" asked Ren, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"You'll see," she said and walked into the compound of Futagotamagawa Gakuen, leaving the two truants staring at her back.

Ren opened his mouth to speak but Yamato beat him to the punch.

"Call me Smiley again and I'll be you to death with your own boots."

Ren laughed and held both his hands up, showing that he'd meant no harm…and that he wasn't armed.

"Going then?"

"No choice. Too late to run," said Yamato, sighing and resumed his steady stride, both hands tucked comfortably into his pockets. "'Kind, supportive and weird.' Can't be worse than Yankumi."

Ren scoffed. "Don't you know, Yamato, everything can always 'be worse' once you've say that. Murphy's Law: what can go wrong, will go wrong. I thought you said you were the smart one?"

"I'm smart enough not to believe in superstitions."

"It's not a superstition. It's a fact of life."

"Yeah, whatever."

"' _If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours._ ' By Henry David Thoreau!"

The closer they got to the baseball field, the clearer the voices became. At first it was a loud determined voice, speaking a quote so cheesy it put Yankumi to shame twice over. After that came a chorus of laughter, followed by an indignant argument over how beautiful such a quote is, as is the person who originally spoke it.

Yamato wasn't partial to meaningful quotes, especially ones talking about love, dreams and fate. Ren hated them too. He always said that people who wrote poems weren't getting any in real life, otherwise, why would they be writing poems about love and sex in the first place?

He had a point there, Yamato had to admit that. That's why both of them got along so well. Both were intellectually on a different plane than that of Kamiya and Icchi. Honjo and Kura were in a different category all together.

"Didn't I tell you? Murphy's Law."

"Shut up."

_…to be continued._


	2. They faced down the beast and lived to talk about it.

"Yagi!"

"What happened?"

"TOUKO-CHAN!"

Ren and Yamato walked down the last step and entered through the metal gates surrounding the playing field. Yagi Touko was standing silently just up a head with a herd of baseball-uniform clad boys rushing up towards her.

"What happened?" asked one of the boys as he looked over the girl before him; the scratches and bruises on her legs and the unfamiliar coat she wore; the shiny purple insides contrasting sharply with the jacket's dark material. His dark bangs fell across his face, hiding his eyes from view.

From the aura surrounding him alone, Ren and Yamato concluded that this wasn't a person to be reckoned with. Of course, the tall, mean looking blonde guys standing just behind him didn't help with the welcoming factor. Especially with him looking so vicious and strong and his sharp eyes finding the two unfamiliar hangers-on standing just a distance away.

"TOUKO-CHAN!" Bellowed a second guy. He looked pretty dumb. Strong, but dumb. The dumb factor made both boys wonder if he were related to Sawatari. The awful haircut didn't help either.

"Yagi!" a mousy boy, a dreadlocked boy and another one who looked as much like a cat as Kura did a puppy, called at the same time.

"Who did this?" asked two who looked like old-school Bōsōzoku gang members.

"Kawato!" called one of the last boys, his Mohawk almost defying gravity and looking as much like a weapon as the baseball bat in the hand of the quiet boy with the center-parting and bleached bangs behind him.

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea," said Ren as if he were reading from a cue-card in Yamato's brain.

"Maybe if we backed away slowly, they wouldn't even notice we were here."

Both of them weren't cowards, not at all, but were neither stupid nor did they have a death wish. It was the wise words of Kenny Rogers that said; _'Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run.'_

"Was it those guys?"

_Yes, it was these guys. That's why we volunteered to walk her all the way back to school._

"Know when to fold 'em, Yamato?"

"Don't need to tell me twice."

Ren and Yamato were about three steps away from turning on their heels and taking off like a couple of bats out of hell.

"No! Not at all. They…They saved me," she said, just in time to halt Ren and Yamato's survival instincts from kicking in. "This…is his jacket. Kazama-kun," she called, turning around and running back to where they stood.

Ren swallowed but was forced a step forward by Yamato's hand on his back.

"Be a man, Ren," said Yamato. It was obvious that he was trying, but failing to suppress a smirk.

"You should talk, hankie-boy."

"Asshole."

"Idiot."

"Kazama-kun, Ogata-kun," Yagi Touko called, jogging to a halt in front of him. She gave them both an encouraging smile and beckoned them forward. "They don't bite…well, not always," she said of the baseball team.

"Encouraging," said Ren cynically.

"You have experience with puppies, so go ahead."

"Yeah but I don't have a handkerchief to dress my wounds with if it bites me."

"Why don't you use the extra material in your jacket then? Why did you do? Steal one of your sister's party dresses?"

"No, I raided your closet while you were out at the spa, _exfoliating_."

"You're one to talk about exfoliating, Ren. Half the guys at school aren't sure if you're a guy or a girl and the other half are crushing on you regardless."

"Why, we aren't jealous now are we? Maybe if you spent less time embroidering your mothers' kitchen towels you'd…"

In the short time they'd spent arguing like a couple of grade school girls, the entire Futagotamagawa baseball had closed in on them. Now they couldn't run even if they wanted. At least, not unscathed. Especially with the tall scary blonde and the short scary black-haired guy standing between them and the exit.

"Guys, play nice," said Yagi Touko. She moved forward and stood like a barrier between them and the blonde guy. "Shinjo-san," she said softly.

"They didn't hurt you?" the tall, fierce looking blonde called Shinjo asked; eyes unblinking from where they were trained on the two strangers. He was like a predator. Ren and Yamato suddenly knew how it felt like to be a worm looking at the pointy end of a fish hook.

"No. They saved me. If they hadn't come along then I don't know what would have happened. And…he found my shoe," she said, looking at Yamato.

Ren snorted in laughter.

"Shut up, asshole."

"Then who?" asked the other ferocious guy.

"Kei-chan," said Yagi Touko. Her eyes changed when she looked at him. There was something unexplainable in her eyes as she gazed at the guy indentified at Kei-chan.

"Aniya," said Shinjo, looking at Kei-chan.

Ren and Yamato identified him as Aniya and thought it was more appropriate to refer to him as that.

"Who?"

"I…I don't know. They were just three big guys. In the alley behind the Fujiwara-san's fish shop."

"They looked like the Three Bears," added Yamato before he could stop himself.

"Thank you, Hans Christian Anderson."

"Asshole."

"YAGI!" a loud voice bellowed from the dug-out and a man, obviously their teacher from his age, obviously the previously mentioned Kawato from the aura of utter eccentricity that shone off him like a beacon, came scurrying up. "What happened? Are you hurt? How could this have happened? I knew I should have gone to look for you when you didn't show up on time! Yagi!" he lunged forward and grabbed her by the upper arms.

"Yamaguchi doppelganger?" suggested Yamato.

"No doubt about it. Freaky."

"What did you say?" Mohawk said threateningly, taking a step forward. His eyes narrowed and teeth bared.

He looked threatening, but so did everyone Ren ever face in his life. And standing next to Shinjo and the Aniya guy, this one looked positively cuddly.

"Doppelganger," said Ren as a matter of fact. "It's in the dictionary. Look it up."

"Son of a bitch," Growled Mohawk.

"Sekikawa!"

"Sensei's right, Sekikawa," said Mousy. "They didn't come here to fight."

"Stop ass-kissing, Mikoshiba. I don't like the look of this guy."

Bōsōzoku guy number one burst into laughter. "He's prettier than you, Sekikawa. I'd rather look at his face for the rest of the day than stare at your mug!"

"Wakana!"

"I dare say he's prettier than most of the girls in this school. Eh, Hiyama?" Bōsōzoku One said to Bōsōzoku Two, who came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder, still laughing.

"Come on you guys. We're a team, nya," said Hello Kitty.

"Save it, Yufune. You know that it's useless. These guys are beyond reasoning," Dreadlocks interjected.

"But, Okada…"

"TOUKO-CHAN!" bellowed Sawatari Jr., about to rush towards Yagi Touko and crush her in a bear hug before Center Parting grabbed him around the waist in mid step.

"Hirachi!"

"Get him out of here, Imaoka," said Shinjo finally and all arguments stopped immediately.

Ren and Yamato took a mental time out to collect their thoughts. They deducted that that;

Mohawk: Sekikawa. Mousy: Mikoshiba. Bōsōzoku One: Wakana. Bōsōzoku Two: Hiyama. Hello Kitty: Yufune. Dreadlocks: Okada. Sawatari Jr.: …Hirachi? Center Parting: Imaoka. Aniya: Dangerous. Shinjo: _Scaaaaary_.

It was a fine team they made, these guys. Sawatari would have a fun time trying to control them. Ren and Yamato would give him about ten minutes before he officially turned in his resignation letter.

_'My precious students.'_

There was an ethereal voice and Ren felt a chill run through his spine. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear when Yagi and Yamato both called his name or when Yamato placed a hand on his shoulder to shake him out of his stupor.

"You guys scared him into a coma, nya!" said Yufune.

Yamato actually preferred Hello Kitty and decided to continue referring to him as that.

"You guys scared him into a coma, nya!" said Hello Kitty.

"Don't look at us. Shinjo was the one staring the life out of him," laughed Wakana. Evidently, he thought that it was going to be another boring day at school.

"Don't involve me in your stupidity," said Shinjo dismissively.

_'How dare you skip school like this?'_

Said the corporeal voice again and Ren felt his heart skip a beat.

"Ren!" called Yamato. "What the hell are you doing, you asshole?" He slapped him once across the face. But that didn't rouse him. Instead, if it were possible, Ren looked even more lost to the world.

"We're not going to be blamed if he forever comatose like this…are we?" asked Okada, looking faintly worried as he lowered his head to look directly into Ren's blank eyes.

"Hey! Are you okay…err, boy," asked Kawato, turning his full attention to the unresponsive teen before him.

"Kazama," said Yamato before resuming his attempt to shake consciousness back into his friend. "Hey, Ren! What the hell, man? Ren!"

"Shit, and to think that I almost skipped school today," said Hiyama to Wakana. Both broke into another round of laughter.

"Are you sure you're all right?" said Aniya to Yagi Touko, appraising her up and down again as if to make sure no other injury had popped up in the time she'd been standing there.

"I'm fine, Kei-chan. I'm touched that you're so worried."

"I-I-Idiot. Of course! We still haven't done it yet and—" she slapped him on the arm and stopped whatever it is he was about to say. But she had a smile on her face and so did he. "And these guys…are you sure? Because they seem pretty weird—"

"They're great guys. You just don't know them yet."

"Oh, and you do?"

Yagi Touko harrumphed.

"Ren! You still haven't told me what the hell we're doing here? Yamaguchi is going to—"

" _Yankumi!_ " yelled Ren suddenly and with such ferocity that the three people closest to him jumped back a step.

He snapped immediately out the daze that had been holding him for the past five minutes, looking around wildly as if some flesh eating monster was about to pop up out of the bush and eat them all.

"What the hell?"

"You didn't tell Honjo or Kamiya where we were going right?"

"I'm getting tired of repeating myself," sighed Yamato. "I. Don't. Know. Where. We. Are. Or. What. We're. Doing. Here!"

"Then what about the map?" said Ren, either not noticing Yamato's annoyance, just deciding to be a complete ass about it.

Yamato was on the verge of a major headache and he was hungry. A hungry Ogata never made good company. "I don't know anything about a map."

"Then that means that I left it in Kura's bag. The map of our destination. And if Yankumi finds it…she _will_ find it…" he cast a haunted look at Yamato.

Realization dawned on him at that instance. "She'll break him to find it, but once she does…" he returned Ren's troubled gaze.

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" demanded Sekikawa, circling the two new guys like a vulture.

"These guys aren't normal," sighed Aniya, running a finger through his hair.

"Are you being pursued? By gangsters?" Kawato was flabbergasted, looking worriedly between the two silent teens.

"Ren…"

"Yamato…"

At that moment, there was a change in the wind and a familiar, irritated coupled with aggravated voice came floating into hearing range.

" _You guys_ …"

The growl was menacing.

Ren and Yamato gulped, and simultaneously turned to look at the top of the staircase leading to the playing field. There she stood, like an Avenging Angel (or the Grim Reaper), her pony tails waving in the wind. The glare of the sun reflecting in on the metal frames of her spectacles. Her immaculate white jersey a stark contrast to the dark expression on her face.

Yankumi was there…and it looked like she brought Hell along with her.

"It just keeps getting better and better. Should have brought popcorn," said Wakana. He and Hiyama were thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Sekikawa wasn't sure whether to look at the furious woman standing just beyond the border of the field, or at the two utterly gobsmacked guys beside him.

Mikoshiba looked worried. Okada looked indifferent as usual, only slightly more amused. Hello Kitty went ' _Nya_ '. Imaoka had dragged Hirachi (coming to think of it, Yamato liked Sawatari Jr. better) Imaoka dragged Sawatari Jr. all the way across the field, where his woeful cry of " _Touko-chan!_ " could still be heard rumbling. Aniya and Shinjo shared a look. It was a look that confirmed both guys' suspicion that they were _not_ , in fact, the weirdest school in Japan.

"What's going on?" Asked Yagi Touko, looking worriedly between Ren and Yamato. "Are you okay?"

"If we run now, we might have a head start," Ren whispered to Yamato.

"Um," said Yamato. He didn't dare nod, lest it provoke the beast that was Yankumi.

"On three…"

"Um."

"…Three!"

With that Ren and Yamato turned on their heels and ran further into the field area and away from Yankumi, indirectly boxing themselves in.

"YOU GUYS!" Roared Yankumi, leaping down the stairs three steps at a time and sprinted across the field in pursuit of her wayward students. "How dare you skip school and make Kuraki and Ichimura lie for you!"

Ren and Yamato ran for their lived, but made a minor mistake in their calculation. They stopped just in time to prevent their face from being permanently imprinted with the metal gate designs. There was no escaping Yankumi. It was closed of metal all around and what exit was in sight was blocked by Shinjo's impressive, towering form.

"It was all Ren!" said Yamato.

"Traitor!" growled Ren, shoving Yamato on the arm, causing him to stumble slightly.

"I told you you're going to have to take the fall!"

"You're the one who took the first steps into the school!"

"YOU GUYS!"

"Besides, what the hell are you doing here anyway! Shouldn't you be more worried about being an unmarried, middle aged woman then about us skipping day or two off school?" said Ren and Yamato blanched.

"Not a good idea to aggravate the pissed-off teacher, Ren."

"Oh, man," gasped Wakana between bouts of air, "This is priceless." He and Hiyama were actually the only thing preventing the other from dropping to the ground.

Kawato was impressed to say the least. Not only had the three been going at it for a good three minutes, four laps easy around the field, they had been doing it while talking. Their stamina was incredible.

"What school did they say they were from?" asked Shinjo.

"Umm…Akadou, I think it was."

"Have you heard of it, Aniya?"

Aniya shook his head, but kept his eyes trained on the two guys and the woman.

_Akadou… ___

__He was going to have to look into that._ _

__Halfway into their sixth lap, Ren got an epiphany. He looked at his watch, smirked and slowed down to a jog before stopping completely right in front of the Futagotamagawa students. Yamato's incredulous form halting a foot beside him._ _

__"What the hell are you doing, idiot!"_ _

__"Shut up."_ _

__"Kazama! Ogata!" roared Yankumi._ _

__She was ten meters away and steaming at the ears._ _

__Ren didn't drop his superior smirk, instead, it grew cockier._ _

__Yankumi was five meters away when the school bell rang, signalling the end of the school session._ _

__"Too late, Yankumi. School's out. You can't do anything to us now."_ _

__Yankumi glared at him, but stopped just a meter in front._ _

__Standing still, Yankumi was even shorter in stature than they thought. Especially standing next to Kazama, who was the second tallest person there after Shinjo._ _

__"Is there a reason you skipped school today to travel all the way here?"_ _

__"There is actually," said Ren smugly._ _

__Yamato thought that this time he'd finally get some answers._ _

__So he waited and Yankumi waited and the Futagotamagawa Gakuen students waited._ _

__And Ren said; "Because I got bored," as if it provided a plausibly answer to the question._ _

__"Kazama…"_ _

__"But why here?" demanded Yamato. Startling Yankumi with his raised voice._ _

__Ren shrugged nonchalantly. All the fear and anxiety was gone from him. He'd gone from being the teen on the brink of a shock induced coma, to terrified and back to the petulant two year old he usually was, all within the span of ten minutes. "I closed my eyes and pointed to a place on the map."_ _

__"…That's it?"_ _

__"Yes, that's it. Why, disappointed? Did you think I came here to tie off lose ends on a deal with the Yakuza drug lord? Some sick BDSM fetish?" he scoffed, "You're the one with the blue handkerchief, Yamato, not me."_ _

__"You're an asshole."_ _

__"I know," he chuckled. "But you're an idiot."_ _

__"I'm leaving."_ _

__"What a coincidence. Me too. I bet Kura, Icchi, Kamiya and Honjo are just dying to get their hands on the latest gossip."_ _

__"I hate you."_ _

__"You should keep the handkerchief," Ren said to Yagi Touko. "It's custom, hand-embroidered. One of a kind. One day when this guy becomes a famous detective like Holmes, you can sell it for a fortune."_ _

__Yamato knew that it was high time that he learned the fine arts of not speaking his thoughts aloud._ _

__"If you think I'm just letting this go, then you've got another thing coming," said Yankumi menacingly. "High school education is important! Think of your future. There will come a day when you'll look back on your teen years and regret to enjoying to the max. This is a time to teach each other and learn from each other. Your precious friends have a lot to give and you have a lot to give back—"_ _

__"We'll, you're here safe and sound. We better take our leave now," said Ren to Yagi Touko. "Justice has been served."_ _

__"—Your friends look to you two as their leaders for guidance. You cannot just abandon them in a time where they need you the most—"_ _

__"Thank you again. Thank you so much," Yagi Touko said, looking at the woman giving the impassioned speech but being completely ignored. She had her back to them and didn't seem to realize. There was a moment's pause as he decided her next course of action. She stepped forward, standing on her toes and gave both Ren and Yamato a quick hug._ _

__Somewhere across the field, there came a wail of utmost sorrow._ _

__"Hey, sorry about before," said Aniya from his place. "But thanks."_ _

__"Yeah," replied Yamato._ _

__"No problem," added Ren._ _

__"—In this life, you only live once. So use that opportunity wisely, but most of all, use it. Don't let the flame of your youth wither away and die!—"_ _

__Ren and Yamato both knew that it was useless trying to cut off Yankumi when she was giving one of her speeches so they didn't even try._ _

__Ren raised one hand in departure and he walked out as Yamato turned to bid farewell to Mousy, Dreadlocks and Hello Kitty._ _

__"What did you call us?"_ _

__Yes, Yamato was going to enroll in the 'Separating Thought and Speech Seminar for Idiots' immediately once he got home._ _

__He wisely made his exit._ _

__The Futagotamagawa students watched as the two Akadou teens walked away. They disappeared around the bend just as Yagi came to her senses and called out; "What about your jacket?" but it was too late._ _

__Wakana and Hiyama, still enjoying their day, shouted; "Come back anytime!"_ _

__And Yankumi…_ _

__"—So stand up, my precious students! Stand up and state your place in this world. You are unique. Never let anyone tell you that you can be replaced. Each and everyone of you are special and that's why, my precious students. I cherish the time I spent as your homeroom teacher."_ _

__Yankumi ended with a hand clutching at the front of her shirt, eyes closed and the sound of choked sobs and applause in her ear._ _

__She turned with a smile, that quickly vanished when the person who stood before her turned out not to be either Kazama or Ogata, but the thirty-something man she assumed was their teacher._ _

__"Sensei!" said Kawato, tears streaming down his face. "That was…that was just _beautiful_. Such a caring and impassioned teacher is hard to find in this day and age. But you…you, a teacher after my own heart. You've touched me! 'Stand up and state your place in this world. You are unique. Never let anyone tell you that you can be replaced!' By…Err."_ _

__"Yamaguchi Kumiko," Yankumi grinned bashfully._ _

__"By Yamaguchi Kumiko!" Kawato grinned. "I'm Kawato Koichi. Pleased to meet you!"_ _

__"And you."_ _

__"Oi, oi, oi. Now this is just sickening!" Wakana made heaving motions. He threw a baleful glare at the two adults before leaving. By this time, most of the players had left the field, Shinjo and Aniya at the very front._ _

__"Haa! Kazama? Ogata? Those brats!"_ _

__"Heeeeey! Wait for me! Uhh, Yamaguchi-sensei. Err, it was nice meeting your," he grinned._ _

__"You too, Kawato-sensei."_ _

__"Hope we can do this again sometime."_ _

__"Um. Sometime," said Yankumi, finger twirling her pony tail in a way that one assumes to be seductively._ _

__"Yeah! I look forward to it. Now we must guide out students so that their dreams may flourish into tomorrow!"_ _

__Any romantic atmosphere was immediately spoiled when eight pairs of gloves hit Kawato in the back (Sawatari Jr. was still reeling and Imaoka was keeping him company.)_ _

__And so ended Ren and Yamato's great, thrill and excitement filled adventure that day. They rescued the damsel (after she'd clobber the bears' gonads to mush with her knee.) They faced down the ferocious dragon and the dangerous panther guarding the castle. They defeated illness and loss of will and in the end, they conquered the beast._ _

__The beast that goes by the name of Yankumi._ _

__But at every end, there is only a beginning. A beginning with two headed monsters called Sawatari-Yankumi. A beginning with a dungeon full of brain eating parasites, waiting for you to let your guard down before they strike. A beginning with the living nightmare someone had named: School._ _

__That beginning was called…_ _

___Monday morning_._ _

__**The end.** _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adjusted the baseball practice hours/school hours to satisfy my needs because I'm just powerful like that (at least in this fic I am). I actually planned this to be at least semi-dramatic, especially with Touko and Aniya and what happened. But my traitorous brain and fingers refused to cooperate with my planning. So everything ended up being mainly humour.
> 
> I enjoyed writing the previous chapter, but I had an absolute blast writing this one, especially in Yamato's semi-POV. So much that I'm considering writing more for this crossover series. Hope you have as much enjoyment reading this as I had writing it!


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